Every Victim in Orlando Was Someone’s Child

Posted on Jun 13, 2016 on Trans-Parenting.com

I’m reposting this because it really resonates with me.  So far Izzy’s transition has been, not without trial, but really? – Pretty darn awesome.  Other than narrowing down my Christmas card list (two sisters and a brother on hiatus), there’s really been no major opposition.  But in the back of my mind those self-harm, suicide ideation and suicide attempt statistics rest uncomfortably and refuse to go unheard.  And they’re not alone.  They fight for space with bullying, ignorance and hate crimes.

I look at my beautiful, amazing, fantastic little girl and I know she is not, could not be immune to this culture of fear.  Someone said to me recently “people say things have changed, that we have gay marriage, gay priests – homosexuals are accepted.  They say ‘you’re lucky to live in this day and age’.  But I know, that until I can walk hand in hand, through the lobby of my work place and sit down in the lunch room with my (same sex) partner, without causing an uproar amongst my collegues and clientele, things haven’t changed enough that I am safe, or accepted.  And your daughter?  Well she’s part of a group who are about ten years behind the LGB group in terms of rights, safety and acceptance.”

As much as I am grateful, and oh my, I am so very grateful, for the support and acceptance we have encountered in our family, friends and community, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that beneath my smile lurks a fear that my child will be one of those statistics.  When I think of those 50 people who were killed, I know they were all someone’s child.  




  1. A lot of progress has been made, but there is still a lot more.

    The massacre at Orlando horrified me and yet galvanized me too. It was soon after it I decided to open a blog here although ultimately I felt inadequate to put words to the feelings that had torn through me on the subject. But with the then as yet unposted to blog sitting there, I continued to think about how I was going to move forward in my own life and fully become myself.

    And the mortality in that tragedy, it made me realize I didn’t want to die without having lived fully. All their lives were stolen because of the bigotry and hatred that is still part of society and culture, because of the fear. I still had the chance and opportunity to live.

    Sometimes the thoughts of all this keep me awake far too long and make a mess of my dreamworld into a wildly tilting mixture of craziness and nightmares. But let all of us devoted to the idea that the arc of a moral universe slowly bends toward justice keep it bending towards that.


  2. With a great support system, I’d imagine transitioning as a youngster would be much less intimidating. As long as there is a safe place for your daughter, she will adapt to all the other places. Unfortunately, it may be quite some time before the majority of the population is properly educated and accepting of lgbt+ folk. But, the most important thing is to have people who genuinely love you through and through, and your daughter has that. 🙂


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