There’s a storm brewing

I’ve just sent a text to Harry, he’ll be arriving home just as the storm reaches it’s peak.

I’ll do what I can to lessen the potential impact, but I think we have to accept the reality, it’s going to hit and it’s going to hit hard. 

Though sometimes, just as it seems a storm is sure to hit, it doesn’t.  Maybe the wind picks up a little, the rain pounds down, but the actual storm doesn’t hit. 

Maybe this will be one of those.

Freddie had a school trip today, to a theatre to listen to Maori story tales.  What fun!  No, not for Freddie.  Even though his Nana was there as a helper, and knows well of Freddie’s inclinations, it was not fun.  And I could see the storm brewing the moment Nana delivered him home.

“It was a bit noisy” said my mum, looking at me meaningfully.  “We had to wait half an hour in the wind for the bus too.  At the railings!…” said Freddie as he sunk into a disheveled heap on the sofa.  

My mum makes a wise and quick escape.  I smile nervously and wring my hands.  I look at Izzy, just woken from a nap and full of energy, energy that needs to be released, fast!  A moment of hesitation on my behalf, and Freddie strikes!

I swallow a scream of terror and quickly get some food and a drink into his hands.  Freddie strikes again, there is a sultana visible in his fruit chutney, I quick myself mentally for this novice’s oversight, because I’m not a novice am I!

Izzy moves in like a snake, with multiple mini strikes against her brother: sitting too close, touching his arm kissing his head and finally lying on him!

I inwardly curse the 60sqm we live in and ask Izzy to play in her room.  Freddie takes the opportunity to hit Izzy and next thing I’m wrestling them apart.

Freddie is learning to regulate his moods.  This year has seen amazing changes, he’s got a fantastic teacher who really gets him and is so open to trying different things to help him, along with the other 23 kids and all their unique needs.  Harry and I have become much better at managing Freddie and Freddie has found a voice to express his frustrations.  He tries really hard.

So things are definitely easier and they’ll be even better come spring when we can spend less time encroaching on each others space and more time having fun together.  But the last four years have been kinda like being in an abusive relationship, it’s taken it’s toll.

I know we’re so blessed.  Our kids are both healthy and bright and awesome.  Freddie is doing so well at school and we’re thrilled.  He’s been pretty darn awesome about Izzy.  I love him to pieces, but when the storms come I wonder why?  Why does it have to be so hard?


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